I was raised by a father who firmly believed that it was important to be on time. As a family, we were never late for any event. In fact, we were usually early. To him there was no excuse for not being on time. You just had to manage your time, be aware of how long it took to get some place and plan accordingly. As a teenager, I was mortified, when while conducting a church meeting, my father stopped mid sentence and addressed the stragglers coming in after the opening song and prayer with "For those of you who are just coming in, you didn't start early enough to do your hurrying.". I wanted to crawl under the pew. He had no tolerance for people who couldn't manage to get places on time. Thus, the habit of being on time was soundly instilled on me. I really don't like being late for an event.
For almost thirty three years, I have been married to a man who has the direct opposite position about being on time for something. His concept of being on time is if something starts at 11 AM, that's when you leave...never mind that it's a ten minute drive to get there or that you have to park the car and go in the building. On the few occasions, that I've managed to convince him that we needed to leave at a particular time, he will complain that we are "WAY early!" As you can imagine, it's been a source of irritation and conflict pitting my timeliness against his idea about what being on time means. Over the years, if he didn't need to be at the same event that I did, it has been easy to get myself there on my time frame. But if we are traveling to something together, I usually have to cool my heels and wait for him.
The last few years we've lived within walking distance of our church. I have always wanted to leave the house early enough to get in the building so that I wouldn't have to sit in the back of the room where I often couldn't hear very well, or had to sit behind someone who blocked my sightline to the front of the room. I know exactly how much time is required to get there so that I don't have to sit in the back. Even though I'd rather enjoy the walk with my husband, I've often left without him because he was still in the process of getting ready.
Two weeks ago, I found myself in the same spot on a Sunday morning. I was ready and wanted to leave. He wasn't quite ready, so I waited, knowing that I'd be late. On our walk over to the building, I told him that it would be nice if, on the two Sundays a month that I don't have an early choir practice, he could be ready when I want to leave. I didn't think it was asking too much.
Yesterday morning, he got in the shower shortly after getting up....not his usual routine. Instead of turning on the TV and watching his Sunday morning news programs, he read. I wasn't hurrying about getting ready because for some reason, in my mind, I had until noon to start getting ready. While playing the piano at about 11:30, he tells me "It's 11:30." I told him "I know." A few minutes later, he stands by the piano completely dressed, and says to me in kind of a confused tone, "Now, what time does church start?". I thought for a minute, "11:50." He says, "Well, it's 11:40.". 11:40! Yikes, there was no way that I would be ready. Oops! I jumped up and started the process of getting ready for church. He waited for a minute or so, and then said, "I'm leaving.".
Thankfully, he didn't gloat the rest of the day that he was ready to leave so that we could get to church on my "never be late" time frame and that I wasn't ready. I just hope that he gives me another chance.
4 comments:
I wonder how much of my life I've spent twiddling my thumbs because, thanks to Dad's indoctrination, I was early for something.
I'm usually early, too; except last year when daylight savings time started, and I didn't know it. I showed up half an hour late for church, thinking I was half an hour early. Most people could just slip in to Sacrament meeting late, and no one would notice; but I was the ward organist. "Umm, is there anyone here who can play the opening song for us today?"
I'm afraid that I'm more like your husband. It's not that I don't plan to be on time or even early, but I always seem to misjudge how long it will take me to get ready. And, sorry to say, the older I get the longer it takes. Makeup just doesn't go on the same as it used to, and my hair has changed... it's thinner and I'm always trying to fluff it up more. But I have made the observation that when my husband and I are going together places, if it's one of his events he is ready early, drives quicker, and nags at me... but, if it's my event... he takes his sweet time getting there... hmmmmm...
At our house, it makes no difference who's event we may be going to. My husband will not be on time. Interestingly, we had a visit with your husband about this when we had a recent appointment. I wanted to be sure that we got there a little early so that we wouldn't waste his time - knowing how busy he is. We arrived about 5 minutes ahead of the appointment. My husband complained "We are WAY early.". However, your husband was ready for us. Hopefully, our being a little early helped him finish up his evening meetings ahead of schedule so he could be back home.
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